How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby: Real Talk from a Mom of Two
When I was pregnant with my second child, one of the biggest questions constantly circling in my mind wasn’t just “Am I ready to handle two kids?” It was questions like “Is my firstborn ready for this change?”, and “How to prepare siblings for a new baby?”
Introducing a new baby into the family is a beautiful, exciting milestone. Still, it’s also a big emotional shift, especially for older siblings who are used to having their parents all to themselves. Our daughter had been an only child for almost five years, and that was about to change. At any age, a new sibling can stir up feelings they may not have the words to express.
Now, as a mom of two, I want to share what I’ve learned: what worked, what didn’t, and what helped make our transition smoother. Here are my best tips (and honest insights) on how to prepare siblings for a new baby.
Start the Conversation Early—But Keep It Age-Appropriate | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
As soon as you’re comfortable sharing your pregnancy news, begin talking to your child about the baby on the way. For toddlers, that may mean looking at simple books about new siblings, pointing out babies at the park, or feeling baby kicks together.
For older kids, involve them in the journey. Show them ultrasound photos, let them hear the heartbeat, or invite them to a prenatal appointment if possible.
We brought our daughter to the baby’s 20-week ultrasound with the expectation of her enjoying seeing the baby and finding out if she was going to have a brother or a sister. Only for her to have a full-blown meltdown when she found out it was not a girl, and she was not having a sister. Really, full-blown meltdown. That left the ultrasound tech speechless, and the doctor apologized for making her cry. Luckily, she got over it by that evening and was happy to tell extended family she was having a baby brother.
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Address Common Fears and Feelings—Without Dismissing Them | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
Jealousy, confusion, and even anger are common feelings that can come up when you prepare siblings for a new baby. These feelings can all be part of the adjustment process, and they’re perfectly normal. I know friends who had older siblings ask if they could give the baby back to the doctor once the newness of the baby wore off that the older sibling realized their life was very different now.
Validating their emotions gives them space to process and shows that their feelings matter, just like the baby’s. As an older sibling, their whole world is changing, and suddenly a baby is everyone’s focus. It’s natural to have a wide range of emotions from siblings.
Make Them Feel Included (Not Replaced) | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
Our daughter picked out a special blanket and stuffed animal to give her baby brother once he arrived. Eight years later, that blanket is well-loved, and the story of her picking it out comes up often.
One of the best things we did was to give our daughter a job once the baby arrived. They weren’t chores, but little ways she could help with the baby and be involved with him. She would bring the baby a blanket, pick out his pajamas at night, or sing lullabies during diaper changes.
Including your child helps shift the narrative from “baby is taking over” to “I have a special role in this, too.” We have always had the approach that our family is a team, and we do things together and for each other.
Ideas to try:
- Let them help pack the hospital bag.
- Have them create a “welcome home” drawing for the baby.
- Ask for their opinion: “Should we use the polka-dot blanket or the star one today?”
Rehearse the Big Day | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
If you’ll be delivering in a hospital or birthing center, let your child know where you’ll be and who will be taking care of them. If possible, show them photos of the place or read books about what happens when a baby is born.
Some hospitals even have big sister and big brother classes, where nurses prepare siblings for a new baby by showing siblings how to give baths, change diapers, and sing to babies. These little things can really help take away the unknowns that come with adding a baby to the family, and ease fears when the baby is finally here.
Give Them a Gift From the Baby | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
This is a classic idea for a reason; it works! When our son “gave” her big sister a locket necklace and a book about big sisters, it added to her excitement. Suddenly, this squishy little stranger was a gift-bringer. And who doesn’t love gifts!
It doesn’t need to be extravagant, just something meaningful. And if your child wants to “give” something to the baby, too (even if it’s a rock they found in the driveway), let them. It helps build early connections.
Keep Some One-on-One Time Sacred | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
In those early postpartum weeks, your time is stretched thinner than ever. But carving out even 10–15 minutes of undivided attention for your older child can go a long way. It reassures them that their place in your heart hasn’t changed.
I tried to keep my daughter’s time routine the same once the baby was here. That little part of the night was hers, and hers alone. Sometimes the baby was sleeping, and sometimes he was crying for attention. When she would comment on him crying or wanting attention, we would check on him, make sure he was ok, and then explain that he could wait because it was her time with mom right now. I felt it was important for her to see that I didn’t always stop everything for him, that she was important too.
Easy ways to connect:
- Read a book together during the baby’s nap.
- Let them help bake cookies (messy is okay!).
- Take them for a quick walk around the block with just you.
Even saying “This is our special time together right now” makes them feel seen.
Don’t Force the Bond. Let It Grow Naturally | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
While Instagram might show picture-perfect sibling snuggles from day one, reality might look more like “Don’t touch that!” or “Why is he making that noise again?”
It’s okay if your child doesn’t seem instantly besties with their sibling. Bonds take time, and it’s better to let it build authentically than to pressure a connection.
When I was pregnant with my son, my daughter and I would be cuddled up watching a movie, only for him to kick her nonstop. She would sing to him, and the kicks would slowly stop. Once he was born, her singing was a go-to for calming him. He would just stop what he was doing, look at her, and be calm. It was literal magic.
Keep encouraging gentle interactions, model kindness, and speak positively about the baby:
- “She smiled when she saw you! She knows your voice.”
- “You helped her feel calm with your song.”
Soon enough, they’ll be showing that love in their own way. The first few years were a little rough at times, but now I often find them cuddled together in a recliner, reading books together, and laughing.
Be Prepared for Regressions and Attention-Seeking | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
Even potty-trained kids might have accidents again. Or your formerly independent preschooler might suddenly want to be rocked to sleep. Regression is a common (and temporary) response to change. We experienced it, and once some fears about baby were addressed, things got back to normal.
My son never took a pacifier, and I swear I bought every pacifier brand possible in an attempt to get him to take one. He never did, and the pacifiers just vanished. I assumed my husband had been throwing them out, as my son refused them. Nope. We found them years later hidden in a box in my daughter’s closet. She must have taken and hidden them for either attention or out of jealousy.
Don’t take it as a sign of failure; it’s just your child saying, “I need some extra reassurance right now.”
How to help:
- Respond with patience, not punishment.
- Find ways to give positive attention throughout the day.
- Acknowledge their feelings: “Things feel different right now, don’t they?”
Evoto
Handle Big Emotions with Calm and Connection | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
There might be tantrums, and a lot of them. There might be whining, clinginess, or even outbursts directed at the baby. It’s all part of adjusting to a major life event. Siblings go from being the center of everyone’s world to suddenly having to share attention with a pretty needy baby.
When these moments happen:
- Stay calm. Reacting with anger only escalates the situation.
- Get curious. What’s underneath the behavior? Jealousy? Exhaustion?
- Offer connection, not correction.
Try: “Do you need a hug?” or “Let’s take a break together.”
I’ve learned that most meltdowns during our transition were my child saying, “Please don’t forget about me.”
Watch Your Own Language and Emotions | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
The way we talk about the baby—and about our older kids—shapes how they see the situation.
Instead of:
- “I can’t help you right now, I’m feeding the baby.”
Try: - “I know you need help. As soon as I’m done feeding your brother, I’ll be right there.”
Also, express joy when you talk about your older child—especially when others are visiting.
- “She’s been such a big helper.”
- “He’s already such a loving big brother.”
Your words help define their identity during this huge life shift.
Final Thoughts from One Mom to Another | How to Prepare Siblings for a New Baby
Bringing a new baby into the family is a massive change, and it affects everyone in the house, not just the parents. There will be good days, hard days, and messy moments in between.
But there will also be incredible ones. Like when your oldest gently kisses their sibling’s head, whispers a song you didn’t even know they remembered, or brags to others about how great it is being a big sibling. Those are the moments that will melt your heart.
Give your older child time, love, and a sense of place in this new chapter. I promise, they’ll bloom.
You’ve got this, mama (or dad!). And remember: just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing something big, meaningful, and beautiful.
Plus those newborn and sibling pictures are adorable, and always my favorite from newborn photography sessions.